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Why is a Family Bucket List Important?

The mere act of making a family bucket list can be a powerful tool to strengthen the family as a unit. Making the list encourages communication, cooperation, and shared decision-making. Having the list, while perhaps not as powerful as a “Family Mission Statement”, fosters a sense of togetherness and unity.

When I plan our trips, I always incorporate activities and destinations with each child in mind individually. However, having them actively contribute to the creation a family list gives them a sense of ownership and responsibility. It also helps to build us as a family unit.

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Furthermore, having a Family Bucket List creates intentionality behind what we do. Everything on the list is there for a reason and therefore we are intentional with our pursuits. The reason can be big or small, but it’s not “just because”.

Different Types of Bucket Lists

While much of what I have said has focused on travel, that’s only because this is primarily a family travel blog. There are so many options when it comes to what types of lists you can make. You can decide to make one all-encompassing list or individual category based lists. You can even make several lists within the same category. For example, you could have a list of places you want to go. Or, you could have separate lists for international, domestic, with kids, without kids, specific activities in specific destinations, etc. The possibilities are endless.

Just remember, the key word in Family Bucket List is “Family”. You can (and should) make separate lists for yourself personally and even for you and your spouse as a couple. And, you can encourage your kids to make their own individual list too.

Few Examples of Categories to Get You Thinking

• Travel Adventures: dream destinations and/or experiences, famous landmarks, experiencing different cultures, exploring natural wonders, ultimate road trip, luxury experience, YOLO (You Only Live Once) travel, historic destinations, family heritage journey
• Learning and Skill Development: educational goals, acquiring new skills as a family (instrument, language, artistic pursuits, SCUBA diving), family hobby (gardening, coin collecting, Civil War reenactment, genealogy)
• Philanthropy and Community Engagement: as a family volunteer or provide a service to the community, bake cookies for the local fire station, read to your neighbor’s kids, etc.; your kids are never too young to be impacted by seeing you being helpful and engaged
• Personal Growth and Challenges: Setting individual and collective goals for personal development, physical fitness, or conquering specific challenges together as a family; while this may include individual goals, your kids will benefit from seeing that you are a growth oriented person

There may be some overlap or interrelatedness on some of these lists. For example, my family spent a month in Mexico one summer. So the months leading up to the trip was a great time to do something else we had wanted to do–learn Spanish! Some of us were more focused and successful than others; therefore, once we got there, the kids also learned the value in putting in effort towards a goal.

Getting Started Making Your Family Bucket List

Creating a family bucket list can seem daunting and overwhelming. There’s no need for it to be. It should be an exciting and collaborative process. You know your kids best in terms of how much guidance and direction they may or may not need throughout the process. And remember, it’s just that–a constantly evolving process.

All you need to get started is some pens and paper:

• Get your family together and encourage an open and enthusiastic discussion.
• Make sure each member has a chance to brainstorm and share.
• Don’t discount any ideas (at least initially).
• Select and prioritize your list based on your family’s values and collective interests.
  • If something doesn’t resonate as a family you can encourage the individual whose idea it was to put it on their own list.
  • If there is something that you want to include because you think it’s important for your family’s growth or you feel strongly that it will be beneficial for your children, do it. Don’t wait for buy-in.
• Set goals, but leave room for adjustments.
• Keep the list in a place that’s accessible so you can regularly refer to it.

There are many pre-made bucket lists available online as well as tools to help get you planning and keep you organized.

Revisit and Refresh Regularly

As time passes, interests, priorities, and circumstances change. My son used to have a main goal of going as many places as possible–especially all Fifty States. However, now his main priority is his learning. So, if he can travel without missing Yeshiva and also learn on the road, then he’ll go [almost] anywhere and everywhere “appropriate”.

In fact we just had this conversation earlier today about a tour in Istanbul while on a layover. His response was “why not? then I can check it off”. Not that travel is about “checking it off”, but in hindsight he will have gained more than that.

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Since a Family Bucket List is essentially a list of goals, it is important to regularly revisit the list. Does this list still align with your family’s values? Perhaps you had a goal to eat a steak on every continent, but now you’re a vegetarian. Or you wanted to become a full-time travelling family, but you realize that you’re not cut out to homeschool your kids. Or you even wanted to take your kids to the opera monthly but now have a newborn.

The list also needs to be revisited so you can celebrate the progress that’s been made. This will build excitement to continue. Did you trace your family back until 1776? Ride an elephant? Take your kids to see where you were born? Become an Eagle Scout? Then check it off the list!

Exploring Your Family Tree

How often you revisit the list is really up to you. You can regularly add to it and cross things off as they happen. Or just look it over as a family on a yearly basis or if there is a significant milestone or life event. This allows your family to adapt, embrace new experiences, and ensure that the bucket list remains relevant and aligned with your values. You may never get to enjoy the steak in Antarctica, but the newborn will eventually be old enough to enjoy the theater (or at least stay with a babysitter).

Impact on Personal Growth and Family Dynamics

Bear in mind that a Family Bucket List is not just about checking off items. I may have made sure my kids had a chance to milk a goat, but they also had a chance to support (and tease) each other. They shared in the experience of being acting grossed out. Making the list and actually doing the things on it shapes family dynamics, strengthens bonds, and fosters personal growth.

Realizing that you’re not doing the things on the list is also a great opportunity. Why are you not accomplishing your goals? Did your goals change? Did you change? Was there not enough focus and intentionality? Or not enough stick-with-it-ness?

The Family Bucket List is dynamic. It’s constantly evolving as we discover new interests that we want to pursue. Had you decided that each family member is going to learn to play an instrument? Was it so successful that now you want to make a family band?

The mere act of putting together a list together and working together on it fosters togetherness! It encourages family members to support and uplift each other, fostering teamwork and cooperation. Pursuing bucket list experiences promotes resilience, determination, and the development of new skills. It helps family members discover hidden talents, unleash their creativity, and develop a sense of adventure and curiosity. By working together to achieve shared goals, family members learn to communicate effectively, compromise, and build stronger relationships based on trust and mutual support.

Amazing Lasting Family Memories Game

Teachable Moment?

Not everything is a teachable moment, but many are. Use your Family Bucket List as a place to put in things you want your kids to gain from. But, the learning is also in the experience of setting, working towards and achieving goals (or not). And in learning to adjust along the way as well–when things don’t go according to plan.

Silver Linings of a Blown Out Tire

Don’t Be Too Rigid

Look at your Family Bucket List as a roadmap. It gives you the overall plan and directions, but there’s always adventure to be had when you get off the main road. Take a detour or a side trip if something looks like it will be good for your family. Always leave room for adapting to the moment.

Fail to Plan?

 Embrace spontaneity, be open to new ideas, and allow room for unexpected adventures along the way. Spontaneity and intentionality are not mutually exclusive.

A family bucket list cultivates mindfulness and presence in the present moment. It reminds us to savor the journey rather than solely focusing on the destination. Each experience on the bucket list becomes an opportunity for the family to immerse themselves fully, appreciate the beauty of the moment, and create lasting memories that transcend the boundaries of time. Use it as an opportunity to be fully present in the moment, regardless of how on or off the road you are.

Celebrate and Reflect

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry said “A goal without a plan is just a wish.” As your family checks off its bucket list, take the time to celebrate. You’ve implemented plans in order to achieve your goals. In this day and age of immediate gratification, that is an achievement in and of itself. Your family will grow from the experience. Set aside some family time to just reflect on how far you’ve come.

A Family Bucket List is a dynamic project that will bring your family closer together as a unit–both in its creation as well in its pursuit. It also helps each individual grow with intentionality. Let me know what’s on your Family Bucket List?

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